Me doing some new stuff in Portland…

Here’s my set from Funny Over Everything at the Hollywood Theater in Portland, Oregon last month.

The Three Things I Fear Most In Comedy

1) Your Mom

2) Her Mom

3) Her mom’s mom

Report: Low-Level Freemasons Beginning to Unionize 


First through Twelfth Degree Masons this week began to discuss organizing so as to increase membership security amid a growing supply of potential replacements. Ted Beddingham, 10° Grand Elect, noted that ever since grounds-for-dismissal policies were instituted in the centuries-old, anti-papist organization, a steady stream of fresh upper middle class white males have sought out temples around the country, seeking to displace existing members.

The situation has proved even more dire now that member rings and pins will be manufactured in emerging market economies rather than in the temples themselves.

Not only has this lowered the chance of advancement, but temples have also relaxed safety standards and reduced incentives, knowing that they could easily fill their respective ranks whether or not they make an effort to recruit.

6° Intimate Secretary Brad Chatsworth pleaded, “even those who are being groomed to run the world need better benefits and better working conditions,” referring of course to the slew of reports of crumbling interior pillars during chantings and frequent hemorrhaging during ritual blood drawings.

“We’re comfortable keeping secrets,” Chatsworth added, “But why Sublime Princes can be treated for fallen-pillar wounds by any doctor while Perfect Masters can’t should not remain shrouded in mystery.”

Implications of Rap Lyrics: Rick Ross

Rick Ross Lyrics

Best Pun Ever? Best Pun Ever.

Pun Cartoon

Implications of Rap Lyrics: 2 Chainz

Liquor Sto'

This Kid Is The Future Of America

When I was this kid’s age, I did dumb shit like this, but I didn’t have YouTube. This kid is going to grow up and dominate anything he puts his mind to because soon the whole world will know his face and will fear his charisma.


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